I was having a talk via Verizon text with a friend yesterday and after the usual catching up she told me that she was enjoying HBO's series Trueblood quite a bit.  If you're not familiar with that franchise, it's based on a series of books by bestselling author Charlaine Harris, who works in the same urban fantasy genre as L.A. Banks, Tanya Huff, Jim Butcher, Rachel Caine, Kim Harrison and a host of others whose names escape me at this moment.  She asked me if the books that Trueblood are based on were any good, and there followed a brief, uncomfortable texting silence where I debated whether to tell her...

"Ummmmm, well, there's better stuff you can read," I finally hedged.

Yes, that was a temporary cop-out.  Hey, it was a text conversation; space is limited, even with a smart phone.  Fortunately, I've got a bit more room here.

In case you're wondering who I do endorse from that list, it's Butcher and Caine.  Unfortunately, they were the only ones I felt positively about, and it's not for a lack of trying their offerings.  For whatever reason--

Ah, crap.  Actually, that's not true.  It's not "for whatever reason," it's for some very specific ones.  Every genre of books has a set of built-in pitfalls that has the capacity to ruin even the best-laid plans, and while some of the more common ones will cross-pollinate, there is at least one unique trap that a well-meaning author can spring.  Too much guts and gore (horror), talking too much about livestock and leather (westerns), plot twists that seem to come out of nowhere and make the reader wrinkle their brow (thriller), inherently unlikeable lead characters (romance) and so on.  For the urban fantasy genre, it's the very supernatural element that can distastefully set it apart from other aisles of the bookstore... or, as I like to call it, "Attack Of The Kewl Powerz Band-Aid!"

Magic is a great element to add to the story, but unfortunately the most common pitfall of this genre is that the authors seem to view their characters as platforms for launching spells rather than the simple act of being a person.  Why solve a personal problem with a moment of introspection or meaningful dialogue when you can insert a scene where you summon a demon?  Or stake a vampire?  Or decapitate a zombie?  And it's not like most of them have personal problems; at least, not ones that don't have something to do with a eldritch mark of doom, their soul being held in trust for the forces of Hell, trying to live up to the Herculanean task of being some sort of a Chosen One, or dealing with the problems of being a supernatural investigator for hire.

If it seems like I am being overly harsh on the genre... well, I am.  Damnit, somebody has to be.  Urban fantasy is a genre with a lot of promise and a lot of directions an author can go, but covering up bad characterization and paint-by-numbers plotting with pixie dust and brimstone doesn't do anybody any favors.  Right?

I would be fairly remiss if I didn't point out, just for the record, that almost half of the things I mentioned above as sloppy/cliche sins of the genre are part and parcel of a typical Jim Butcher story.  However, I would also be a snarky jackass (in a bad way) if I failed to mention that Butcher is the most compulsively readable author I have run across since Stephen King.  The reason is very simple, so prepare your "Der!" in your best brain-damaged voice as I say... it works because Jim Butcher is a damned good writer.

"DER!"

I know how that sounded, but basic facts are basic facts.  Butcher (and Rachel Caine, my other list endorsee) write good stories that at their very hearts, don't have a whole lot to do with any supernatural elements.  Good versus evil, baby, with good characterization, snappy dialogue and sharp descriptions that don't waste time with world-building.  You know, the stuff Writing 101 has helped so many people with.  ;)  Yeah, there's brimstone and pixie dust, but it's garnish, not the frame itself.  The villains that come to menace the heroes and heroines are bad guys first and demons/vamps/evil priests/whatever second.  One of Butcher's best creations, Nicodemus of the Blackened Order of the Denarius, is at his best when he is simply talking to Harry Dresden.  That's a skill that sadly, most of the practitioners of urban fantasy haven't managed to figure out yet.  Trust me, it isn't the only one.

I know it also sounds rather retarded for somebody who has not had a novel published himself to critique how established authors in the field approach their craft and all I can say is... well, as George Carlin said, you're just going to have to figure that shit out for yourselves.  I like to consider myself not only a professional writer, but a professional reader as well, so I know what sets off the mental crap detector and what does not.  Butcher and Caine, my future literary neighbors on the book shelf, do it up just fine.  Banks, Huff, Harris and Harrison do not.  Oh, and the less said about Laurell K. Hamilton's abrupt swan-dive from the top of the literary Empire State Building straight into a pornographic, angsty, bitchy stadium-sized Mixmaster, the better.  Except I just said something.  Ooops.

As a final note, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.  Carrie Vaughn, a urban fantasy author herself, has examined this peculiar set of problems the genre has in a very revealing three-part post, with part one, two and three here linked for additional reading pleasure.  If you've more than a passing familiarity with this aisle of the bookstore, delve further... then come back and tell me I'm wrong with a straight face.

Adios.